The turn out for today's dual-slalom event really surprises me.  There were about 20 entrants, certainly drawn to the competition by either a latent exhibitionist impulse or a chance to possibly win a ski pass for next season.  Either way there was about a 50/50 split of males to females and skiers to snowboarders, all of them pumped up for their 15 minutes of fame. 

Racers pair off at the top of the course like nervous animals waiting for Noah to let them aboard the Ark.  Two by two they come forward and burst through the starting gate, each one heading downhill to the best of their ability.  Reconfirming my dire view for our children's future, the good-natured event quickly turns into a gauntlet run through a barrage of ice balls hurled by prepubescent teens.    The group of snowboards camped out next to me had an uncontrollable urge to scream "FAGGOT!" at every guy that slid past while drooling uncontrollably at each of the females… before pelting them with fastballs… 

The females provided the best highlights as most guys were in some form of lame Jams-style surf short.  An exception was Chris Hagenbeau, a well know bad-ass local skier who flashed the course each time in his leopard skin banana hammock, setting all speed records and avoiding most snowballs.  Then there was the gal in the bikini and grass skirt who snowboarded to victory on each of her runs, obliterating her male competition without mercy.  A large hairy guy in drag taunted the crowd on his way down by boarding along slowly and giving a grand crotch grab for the fans along the way, taking ice balls square in the chest and groinal area with pride. 

We also had the snowboard Betty who mooned the sidelines on each frontside turn and the shapely young ski instructor in her Victoria Secret butt-floss.  The most inspired costume would have had to have been Suzie Jacuzzi's decision to accessorize her thong bottom with a Saran Wrap Tube Top to the delight of the mostly male audience.  The event was wrapped up with Steamboat's favorite lawsuit event, a Chinese Downhill for all in swim suits to show off once more in a final sprint to the bottom, winner take all.

I would have to say that for its inaugural year, the event was quite a success.  My only suggestion would be to incorporate one of those ice-filled pools at the bottom of the run next year... contestants attempting to skim across the top usually end up eating it pretty hard.  This always provides a good laugh for observers and great highlight footage. 

I make my way home to find a fantastic message on my machine…  An old friend and veteran of many of my previous exploits (can you say multiple bear attacks) has decided to come to town and help close things up with me on Sunday.  This is great news.  He arrives late and we stay up much later drinking vodka and catching up on old and new news, excited for tomorrow's festivities...